Have you and your spouse become more roommates than lovers? Are you and your partner not seeing eye to eye on each other anymore? Or do you keep fighting over trivial matters all the time? Are you finding it harder than before to communicate your thoughts and ideas with your partner? If you nodded along tensely, then your marriage might be on the verge of a breakdown, and you might be in dire need to consult a marriage counselor.
Most couples take their marriage as a fairytale coming true, like meeting the one destined for you, getting married, and living happily ever after. However, they realize a little late that even fairytale relationships require effort.
Couples refrain from seeking help due to baseless stigmas going around society. It is not until they experience a setback in their marriage that they turn to marriage counseling. Admitting that you need a third hand to save your relationship can be scary and humbling. But it can lead you to blissful consequences such as vibing together again like peanut butter and jelly.
Seek Professional Help
Knowing when to seek help is just as important as knowing who to go to for help. Simply put, you should conduct a background check on the marital counselor you are about to hire. Most well-educated and experienced counselors possess professional degrees like bachelors or masters in counseling. Even if they have masters in counseling online through esteemed institutions, don’t worry. Many professionals go for online education as it becomes manageable with their work. It helps them acquire the most effective skills and techniques that come in handy to help guide their clients in their rough patches. The marriage counselor will help you learn new ways of relating to your partner and make your relationship achieve longevity. But when do you know it’s the time to consider marriage counseling? Listed below are some trigger points and signs you need to consider while deciding whether or not you need professional aid.
Your relationship lacks intimacy
One of the first indications of a deteriorating relationship is a lack of intimacy caused by both partners’ lack of desire. Suppose you find your sex life struggling or significant changes in the frequency of being intimate with each other. In that case, it is time to consider marriage counseling or even sex therapy to reignite the spark and bring intimacy back into your dull life.
Fear of communication
When a conversation gets blown out of proportion, fear can develop amongst particular discussion topics, leading to avoidance of conversations altogether. Some little annoying habits of your spouse can lead to a severe breakdown in communication. It will make you or both partners oversensitive and overdefensive. This kind of impaired communication will further make good communication and progress almost impossible. A competent marriage counselor will suggest effective ways to recover from a severe clash and helpful tips to make your communication productive. Communication in marriage plays a much more significant role than we can fathom. You can also read up effective communication tips online to steer healthy conversations.
Ongoing and unresolved arguments
Every relationship has its ups and downs, as well as its own set of obstacles to overcome. Thus, arguments and fights are inevitable. But suppose you and your partner keep bickering persistently about trivial matters like hanging laundry, having the same thing for dinner, etc. In that case, it is a matter of concern. If your partner keeps picking fights over silly things all the time, you need to consult a marriage counselor. As an unbiased person, a counselor will help you figure out the underlying cause of the strife.
You and your partner are growing apart
With people having hectic schedules, a couple should not feel like roommates stuck together temporarily in a household in this day and age. Couples do experience long periods of disconnection from each other. Still, these long periods must not be allowed to make you indifferent or uninterested in each other’s activities and life. If you feel that your partner socializes more with other people than spending quality time with you, don’t care if you are upset. If you are unaware of his whereabouts, etc., you should be concerned enough to consider marriage counseling.
You view each other as antagonists
Another sign indicating that you need marriage counseling is if you or your partner have become rivals. It means either you or your partner view each other as the bad guy or an antagonist. If you and your partner put trust issues on the back burner, you are likely to face its consequences down the road. When couples start seeing each other as adversaries and rely on others for emotional support, marriages fail. So, if you begin to feel like you and your partners are on different sides and not a team, then it’s time to seek help.
Trust, hard to earn, easy to breach, creates the foundation of a relationship. When either of the partners keeps secrets regarding friendships, financial resources, or other activities, the trust that holds the relationship firm starts to deteriorate. Every individual has a right to privacy, even in relationships. However, living like a mystery with your partner will bring disastrous consequences. If your partner keeps secrets from you, it is a vital sign to realize that something is not right.
Being unfaithful to your partner about your finances can stir the roots of your relationship. Suppose one partner keeps their spouse in the dark about spending, making secret purchases, or applying for loans. In that case, it is a significant sign of distress in the relationship. It is a perpetual yet solvable issue that the marriage counselor can address, who can suggest feasible ways to resolve the issue. You can also read up on the effects of financial infidelity to better understand and learn to avoid it.
People in partnerships may be motivated to have extramarital affairs for various reasons, including resentment against their spouse, sexual desires, or a quarter-life crisis. But the main reason may be a relationship breakdown. If you get tempted to cross the boundaries of your relationship, it would be better to talk to your partner and receive marriage counseling instead of going through an affair.
A healthy marital relationship demands a long-term commitment, dedication, and a substantial amount of work from both parties. When living a married life, fights, arguments, and disagreements are inevitable. The point is whether you and your partner are ready to weather the storm. You can gain the strength to tackle your marital challenges by opting for marriage counseling. Marriage counseling ensures that a marriage doesn’t end in divorce. Marriage counseling can help couples resolve their issues, communicate better, navigate the challenges of life, and ensure the relationship’s longevity.